A Greg Brown Fan Club Charter

i am gregbrown

The Rules
The first rule of the Greg Brown Fan Club is
Do not talk about the Greg brown Fan Club.

Wait; there are no rules to the Greg Brown Fan Club
but there is a suggested MSRP,
rather a Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price
which according to my mother is
a drive-in movie, a bottle of gin,
and a strict catholic upbringing.

A History
In which Greg Brown tells the history of Greg Brown
in a classical and hip mannerism
in which Greg Brown restates things which Greg Brown
has previously said about Greg Brown:
1) Hello, my name is Greg Brown.
2) I am not a role model.
3) I left the toilet seat up.
4) I cannot be stopped.
5) I am ethnically ambiguous.

A History, Part the Second
In which Greg Brown restates some nasty things
about Greg Brown’s Exes:
1) You Bitch.
2) No, don’t leave me.
Well that sums that up.

A Greg Brown FAQ
Q: Can I have sex with Greg Brown?
A: It is possible. You can have sex with Greg Brown because he does have some fully functioning parts. However the question here should be “Will Greg Brown have sex with me?”

Q: Will Greg Brown Have sex with me?
A: For the last time the answer is NO.

Q: Greg Brown?
A: Uber Alles.

Greg Brown: Uber Alles. Greg Brown: Uber Alles.

Greg Brown’s Fan Club’s Political Platform and Slogans:
Greg Brown: Not in my backyard. That’s right Greg Brown will stay out of your banana patch. Greg Brown will keep your trash dry: dehumidified and vacuum sealed bags and of course Greg Brown

Greg Brown Fan Club Benefits.
Fuck You. Greg Brown is a goddamn benefit.
And No, Greg Brown will not sleep with you.

Greg Brown’s Fan Club Theme Song.
Greg Brown, Greg Brown,
Whatcha gonna do?

Whatcha gonna do
when they come for you? (repeat)

Greg Brown Knock, Knock Joke
Knock, Knock.
Who there?
Greg Brown.

Greg Brown’s Terms of Service.
Greg Brown reserves the right to use your email address,
telephone number, fax, pager, cell phone, and home address.
Greg Brown also reserve the right to have access to urine
and blood samples as well as access to all nonessential organs
to better serve Greg Brown and to give you the products
that Greg Brown thinks that you need.

originally published at Trombones Geants


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