Jesus Was A Hard Drinking Man

photograph by Chris Owens

John 8:1 — 8:11 an interpretation

Jesus was a hard drinking man, standing out on Olive Street trying to find some action. It was spring break weekend and all His girlfriends had gone down to Florida. Jesus took out a flask labeled Holy Water and took a sip. Walking up the hill Jesus noticed some blue flashing lights and two cops harassing a prostitute. As it was the only action Jesus has seen all night, He went over to see what He could do. Jesus walked up to the first cop to find out what is going on. “This woman was caught in the very act of prositution and in the Law it states that we must arrest this woman. What the fuck do you care anyway?” They asked Him this as an accusation to see if they could arrest Him as her pimp. But Jesus bent down and starting drawing a picture of the harlot in the sand with His finger. As they persisted in their question, Jesus straightened up and said, ‘ Let the one of you who has not had sex with this prostitute arrest her. Then He bent down and continued drawing in the sand. When they heard this, the police got in their car and drove away and Jesus was left alone with the woman. Jesus again straightened up and said, ”Woman where are they? Have they not arrested you?” “No, sir.” she replied. And then He asked “What’s your name?” “Mary” replied the woman. “Mary” Jesus spoke, “Let us go back to my place and sin.”


addendumPericope Adulterae
originally published at


4 thoughts on “Jesus Was A Hard Drinking Man

  1. Okay. Too weird. A friend asked me the other day which I consider the more degrading, morally speaking: stripper or porn star.

    I responded via text message but then wrote and post-dated a blog entry that alludes to this same Biblical story.


    • so I heard that one way to tell the difference between porn and art is if you add an midget to the scene does he/she seem of place. it it is then it’s art. as for your question i would wonder at the motives behind either stripping or porn. also it seems that a stripper has more control in terms of who sees what (including a certain sense of locality [only so many people are going to see a stripper at any one time, where as in porn the image(s) can pretty much live on forever]

      anyway there is a whole god awful (pun intended) set of these poems/prosey/whatever.

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