Our Town or The All Nude Midget Review In Drag

Our Town or The All Nude Midget Review In Drag.

A comedy of errors, absurdities, hallucinations and play writing.

Written by Greg Brown and Jason Adams.

The setup: J is a writer who has been commissioned to write a play.  That play is several weeks past due.  G and S are his roommates.  The following scene takes place in a rather spacious kitchen.  Jane is the audience plant.

G: Hey what’s going on?

J: Nothing.

S [still laughing]:  Our Swedish friend has to finish his play by today and he hasn’t even started yet [continues laughing]

G: Dude!

J: Yeah.

G: [looks thoughtfully before making elaborate breakfast preparations] Well if you want my help, I have a great idea.

J: Hit me.

G: All right.  Three words: Midgets in Drag, All Nude.

J: What?

G: Midgets. In Drag.  All. Nude.

S:  How can they be nude and still . . . you know what never mind [exits]

J: Yeah how can they be nude and in drag?

G: No, No, no.  You aren’t understanding me.  Midgets

J: Yeah

G: In drag.

J: OK, I’m with you.

G: All Nude

J: Lost me.

G: Okay [grabs spray bottle] . . . Okay here you have a midget in drag [unscrews top] All nude.

J: [sits thoughtfully] But how can they be in drag and all nude?

G: You do still not understand what I am saying. [Performs bottle trick again] All nude.

[J. looks at water bottle thoughtfully setting it down still looking confused]

G: Alright [pauses and then grabs Jane out of audience and brings her to stage.  G. points at Jane speaks at Jason] Midget in drag.

J: All right. [Phone begins to ring, but J. and G. ignore]

G: All nude. [Jane begins to strip, music starts, slow funk]

[S. enters as soon as Jane is down to her undergarments]

S: [when S. begins speaking Jane stops stripping] Why is there a woman doing a strip tease in our kitchen at 8 in the morning?

G: What are you talking about? [Jane begins putting on her clothes and takes a seat by the kitchen counter]

S: That woman right there . . . never mind.   Did you guys hear the phone ring?

[J & G look up confused.]

S:  I have date.

[Dance number]

J: Awesome.

G: Totally, did she call after midnight?

S: What:

G: Did she call–

S. [interrupts] No, I heard you, I was just wondering why you would ask if she called after midnight.

G: Booty Call!

S: What?

J: Yeah anytime a girl calls after midnight, its a booty call.

S: She called me at 8am.

G: Booty Call.

S: We’re meeting for lunch.

G. + J: Booty Call!

S: Fine [S. exits, Jane gets up and makes coffee]

*****

originally posted at trombones geants
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