Our Town or The All Nude Midget Review In Drag.
A comedy of errors, absurdities, hallucinations and play writing.
Written by Greg Brown and Jason Adams.
The setup: J is a writer who has been commissioned to write a play. That play is several weeks past due. G and S are his roommates. The following scene takes place in a rather spacious kitchen. Jane is the audience plant.
G: Hey what’s going on?
S [still laughing]: Our Swedish friend has to finish his play by today and he hasn’t even started yet [continues laughing]
G: [looks thoughtfully before making elaborate breakfast preparations] Well if you want my help, I have a great idea.
J: Hit me.
G: All right. Three words: Midgets in Drag, All Nude.
G: Midgets. In Drag. All. Nude.
S: How can they be nude and still . . . you know what never mind [exits]
J: Yeah how can they be nude and in drag?
G: No, No, no. You aren’t understanding me. Midgets
G: In drag.
J: OK, I’m with you.
G: All Nude
J: Lost me.
G: Okay [grabs spray bottle] . . . Okay here you have a midget in drag [unscrews top] All nude.
J: [sits thoughtfully] But how can they be in drag and all nude?
G: You do still not understand what I am saying. [Performs bottle trick again] All nude.
[J. looks at water bottle thoughtfully setting it down still looking confused]
G: Alright [pauses and then grabs Jane out of audience and brings her to stage. G. points at Jane speaks at Jason] Midget in drag.
J: All right. [Phone begins to ring, but J. and G. ignore]
G: All nude. [Jane begins to strip, music starts, slow funk]
[S. enters as soon as Jane is down to her undergarments]
S: [when S. begins speaking Jane stops stripping] Why is there a woman doing a strip tease in our kitchen at 8 in the morning?
G: What are you talking about? [Jane begins putting on her clothes and takes a seat by the kitchen counter]
S: That woman right there . . . never mind. Did you guys hear the phone ring?
[J & G look up confused.]
S: I have date.
G: Totally, did she call after midnight?
G: Did she call–
S. [interrupts] No, I heard you, I was just wondering why you would ask if she called after midnight.
G: Booty Call!
J: Yeah anytime a girl calls after midnight, its a booty call.
S: She called me at 8am.
G: Booty Call.
S: We’re meeting for lunch.
G. + J: Booty Call!
S: Fine [S. exits, Jane gets up and makes coffee]